Article 30: Wearing Others' Shoes and Stimulating the Brain with New Things-Role-Playing and Creative Experiences

I saw a video clip on TV about a woman who bought a pair of shoes endorsed by Oprah Winfrey. When she felt depressed or lonely, she would wear those shoes and imagine what Oprah would do or say. This often improved her mood. I understand why this helped her. A behavior course I attended taught me the value of seeing the world from other people's perspectives. When I played with people completely different from myself (like a mom on a motorcycle or a socialite), I would carefully study their characteristics. I tried to understand who they were, what they were thinking, how they felt, and their motivations. This technique I learned in the behavior course helped me cope with stress eating. I imagined myself as someone who didn't have to struggle with food. I tried to understand and replicate their behavior. After stopping the role-playing, I was myself again.

-Melissa

Every day you can observe the people around you and learn how they handle certain situations. Let's say you go to a new restaurant; you can observe others to decide whether to sit down yourself or have the waiter lead you to a table. Or you decide to work until 5 PM because you see your colleagues still at their desks when it's time to go home. You can learn many useful coping skills by observing others. Maybe you see your sister go for a jog when she's stressed. Or when your husband makes a mistake, he humorously tells himself, "Well done." You can try out other people's techniques and see if they suit you.

Self-soothing techniques

Take action

Observe your friends, family, and colleagues for at least a week, focusing on positive role models who don't comfort themselves with food. Study them, ask them how they handle specific situations, take notes on what they say, and observe their body language.

Once you observe certain coping behaviors, you should try using these behavioral techniques. Even if you don't have any special talent for these behaviors, you should still try to imitate these healthy and effective self-soothing methods that you have learned.

Here's a way to implement behavioral techniques: when you're in a good mood, practice methods that can successfully prevent emotional eating. For example, role-play walking into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator as if you're about to engage in stress eating, then leaving the kitchen and applying distraction techniques. The value of role-playing is that it gradually becomes natural and effortless through repeated practice. My clients often repeat the phrase, "Imitate it until you can do it." Sometimes, you have to practice for a period of time before this behavior becomes a natural, familiar, and simple pattern.

Self-soothing techniques

Role-playing on a chair

Here's another way to implement this behavioral technique. Place two empty chairs next to your seat. These chairs represent two conflicting aspects: on one hand, you want to seek comfort through eating; on the other hand, you simply want to eat at fixed mealtimes when you're hungry. Perhaps at this moment, you'll feel hesitant, unsure whether you should eat. Sit in one chair and argue about emotional eating, then stand up and sit in the other chair to critique it. Standing up and moving your body from one chair to the other is crucial. As you move, it truly helps you see things from a different perspective. Notice how your emotions change as you move.

Stimulating the brain with new things

I enjoy trying new things, but not always. In the past, I often feared change. I clung to the old and disliked new things. Now I regret not having adopted a more open attitude. Narrow-mindedness cost me many opportunities. Now, when a new idea enters my mind, I no longer cling to it. This attitude has helped me find creative ways to stop stress eating.

-Jim

Do you eat when you're bored? If you often use food to pass a boring half hour, then it's important to try different ways to stimulate your brain. When you do something new, you change the chemistry in your brain. Feelings and experiences you've never faced before establish new neural pathways. Stimulating your brain in new ways can make you smarter and help you find more creative solutions to problems (including overeating). Doing new things is also a challenge; it requires your full attention. When you're trying to learn a new skill, it's hard to feel bored.

Trying a new hobby can also help you build new relationships. By joining a new club or course, you can expand your social network. You might meet a teacher who can teach you how to practice a new skill. You might also make new friends. Trying something new outside of your regular schedule can provide you with interesting stories. These stories can help you quickly integrate into new relationships when you want to socialize.

Self-soothing techniques

Try new and innovative things

Few things are worse than the feeling of monotony. Doing something outside your schedule can boost your energy levels. Before you begin any changes, make sure you have the right attitude. Don't be surprised if your mind wavers between doing something new and something familiar. Resisting change is a normal human reaction. First, remind yourself to stay open, even if you don't like the new activity. Tell yourself, "Give it a try" and "Keep it up."

Can you identify what new areas you need to challenge yourself in? Here are some suggestions for new activities:

Turn in a new direction. On your way home, turn left instead of right. Choose a route with scenic views nearby. Wondering what's on the next street? Go check it out, driving or walking through unfamiliar routes.

Try a different radio station. If you're a rock fan, try listening to some melancholic or Spanish songs. You might not like them at first. Try to get used to these new songs and don't immediately go back to your old habits; listen to at least a few.

Next time you go to the store, try buying some vegetables or bread you've never bought before. Or buy familiar foods, but with a different flavor. For example, if you like ketchup but always buy the mild kind, you could try a spicier one.

Buy a new suit. If you always wear black suits, then you can try red. Try something "unlike yourself," such as a different style of shirt or pants. If you like denim, then you can try a pretty, elegant suit or sexy shoes.

Investigate the clubs in your community. Look for bicycle clubs, book clubs, herb or gardening societies, or volunteer organizations.

Make some healthy dishes to eat, such as apple juice cake, wine, or homemade oatmeal rolls. Go to town to look for recipes.

Remember, your goal is to expand your comfort zone. You may need to carefully consider what is truly new to you, what you understand and enjoy, and what is the old stuff you need to keep.