Stress test and methods to change emotional responses

1. The child died young. 95

2. Divorce. 93

3. Spouse passed away. 90

4. The father or mother has passed away. 80

5. Spousal infidelity or betrayal by a business partner. 80

6. Newlyweds. 80

7. Change jobs after age 45.

8. Conflicts between you and your spouse. 70

9. Conflicts with the boss threaten job security. 70

10. A very pessimistic medical diagnosis. 65

11. Moving. 55

12. Retirement. 50

13. Conflicts exist between the individual and their teenage children. (50)

14. There are conflicts with parents. (50)

15. Birthdays at age 40, 50, 60, 75, or 80. 40

16. Severe external injury. 35

17. As a last resort, the father or mother is entrusted to the care of a rehabilitation center. 35

18. Job hopping. 30

19. Daughter gets married. 30.

20. In a state of chronic pain. 25.

21. Your best friend betrayed you. 25.

22. The youngest child also left home. 25.

23. Buy a new car or a new house. 20

24. Large family celebrations or gatherings. 20

25. Overly demanding work responsibilities. (10)

Total Score

Calculate the score and explain.

The numbers in parentheses indicate the level of stress, with 10 being low stress and 95 being the highest, indicating significant stress that hinders normal behavior. Check the stress levels above and add up the corresponding scores.

If your score is between 0 and 30, it means you are currently under very little stress and are likely in good physical and mental health.

If your score is between 35 and 65, life stress may have begun to undermine your weight loss efforts and affect your overall health.

A score above 65 indicates you are experiencing significant stress, which can lead to not only physical ailments but also increased food intake. You need support and must learn specific tools for managing stress.

Perhaps you are lying in bed feeling dejected, lamenting the fleeting nature of youth, an unhappy marriage, disobedient children, and immense work pressure. You feel frustrated and pathetic. Despite your desperate desire to pull yourself together, you find yourself repeatedly sinking into the quagmire of stress from which you cannot extricate yourself.

People react in completely opposite ways to the same stimulus. Why? Because pressure may be a formidable enemy to one person, turning into an uncontrollable behemoth, while to another it may be a driving force, which in turn transforms into an opportunity.

When observing factors related to emotional control, you'll find that your understanding of things is the real culprit behind your troubles. Stress is everywhere in life: a flat tire, an eccentric boss, financial difficulties, a boyfriend promising to call but not doing so, a less-than-optimistic doctor's diagnosis, or a 15-year marriage ending in separation. These are certainly not good things, but what causes you pain is your understanding and reaction to them.

Avoiding, rather than actively and effectively addressing, these emotions can harm physical health and shorten lifespan. For example, you might think obesity is just a matter of appearance. However, even though you're breathless with every step, you vehemently deny that obesity causes health problems and never consider that it will cause you to die prematurely from heart disease, stroke, cancer, or other life-threatening illnesses. Perhaps you're vomiting because of uncontrolled eating, and you tell yourself it's not an eating disorder, it's just occasional, and it will pass when you reach your ideal weight or resolve life's stresses. Living in denial, you might be like a pressure cooker that won't release gas, all the pressure trapped inside until the lid is opened or pushed open, wasting precious time that could have created miracles in your life.

Another type of erroneous mental activity, known as "automatic thinking," arises in your mind without your awareness. For example, if someone in your family criticizes you, you may not even realize that automatic thoughts like "They never approve of me" or "They just don't accept me as a person" are already running through your mind, making you feel hurt. In response, you might not even notice that you've already scooped up a large spoonful of ice cream and put it in your mouth; these negative thoughts have already taken root in your mind. When criticized by family members, these lurking thoughts appear rapidly, so quickly that you are completely unaware of their impact on your behavior.

Reassuringly, these thoughts can be questioned, controlled, and ultimately changed. You can change your mindset, your perceptions, and your behaviors. In the following series of steps, you will try to change your emotional state to help you stop using food as a punching bag when faced with emotionally distressing situations.

Looking back at the stress test you just took, and carefully examining the stressors you listed, it's clear that nothing and no one can truly break you down, and you're not worth eating a whole bag of chips. What triggers stress and anxiety is your reaction to things. Remember, your reaction isn't directed at external events, but rather stems from your understanding of them.

Imagine you apply for a job you desperately want but aren't hired. You can rationally think, "Hey, I don't want to be rejected. But I know I'm capable and talented, I'll apply for another job." You won't be bothered by it, and your self-worth won't be significantly damaged. However, if your inner reaction is, "I'm such a useless failure, I failed the interview, how embarrassing. That job was too good for me, I really don't have the skills, I don't even deserve to apply for it. They know I'm not good enough. Ugh, give me a bag of chips, that'll make me feel better," then you're experiencing pressure or a kind of frustration. You're upset about not getting the job, and in reality, you're hurting yourself by overthinking about it, causing you emotional trauma.

Regardless of the situation, you have the autonomy to choose your own reaction and your own understanding of the matter. How you interpret the various events that occur in life is entirely up to you.

I'm not suggesting you interpret everything you experience with blind optimism. If you encounter life's greatest stress-the death of a child or divorce-it's unreasonable to view it as a good thing in any way, but you can certainly choose to deal with it positively. A positive choice means that your suffering also has meaning and purpose, which can take many forms. For example, you could become a counselor to other victims of similar tragedies or volunteer for a cause. When such a personal tragedy occurs, the most important choice is what you do now, because the past is gone, the future is only something to look forward to, and the only thing that truly belongs to us is the present.

To change your emotional responses and the resulting bad eating habits, you need to slow down, listen carefully to your inner voice, assess and change your reactions.